#29 The Surfacing of the Refuge

The guidance of yesterday is as unexpected as the previous one; the one which led me to realize that I was not to conduct retreats as I have been for many years. With that direction being clear, I have been searching for clarity about the next cycle. In that process, I found myself floundering a bit and even touched a worry place about my security. Thinking maybe I should move to a less expensive apartment and find other ways to reduce my expenses. My refugee years of homelessness surfaced and touched some old fear places for a while.

Then there was a time of thinking about how to generate some income. Providing personal retreats came up. I live in the ideal situation for that.  I realized a couple days ago, that the question of financial issues had evolved into a wrong focus. The question which needed my attention was, what does Spirit have in mind for me. Meditating on that, the following guidance came to me.

My name, Hedwig, means refuge in battle. For years, when I was younger, I wanted to have a house which I would call “The Refuge”. Anyone in need, or simply wanting rest or company, would be welcome. Beauty, peace, harmony, joy would be expressed in everything from linen, dishes, food, meditation, music, books etc., etc. People would donate whatever they could afford or wanted to or simply accept all as a gift.

Then as the tears started flowing, I was saying to myself, ‘ I want to be a refuge’. I want to name my very lovely apartment  The Refuge. I want to keep it going for as long as I’m physically and financially able. I want to provide  a place that feels like a sanctuary, safe. Where anyone can come for an hour or four or a day or overnight. Where everyone feels welcome and loved.

And so, this is what I feel called to do right now. It feels so right in my heart and on all levels of my Being.

The theme for the retreat this year was ‘Tusting the Invisible World’. As it turns out, that was exactly right. I continue to trust and do what the Divine asks me to do.

This, along with full commitment to my beloved Quaker community is the immediate cycle before me. I’m so full of inner peace and joy. I look forward to seeing you at The Refuge anytime. A cup of tear or coffee or….is always waiting to be shared.

In Light and Love and Companionship on this Path, Hedi

8 thoughts on “#29 The Surfacing of the Refuge

  1. Love this! My heart is filled with joy as I feel into the peace, harmony, and love in this guidance — and in your willingness to trust it. May I somehow be able to come and enjoy The Refuge! This gift of your embodying your name and your purpose even more fully. Yes.


  2. Dear Hedi,
    What a touching, heartfelt message. I knew about your childhood experiences from reading your sister’s book, but I did not realize your name meant “refuge in battle”. Yes, it does feel like you have received divine guidance. I have already been to your refuge and look forward to visits to come. I am sorry I could not attend your retreat due to a trip to San Diego, but that was good for me. The Spiritist conference was on the theme of Love, and the visit to the Zoo was good, helping me to connect to love for our planet in another way. Recently I was meditating on both my own personal issues and the global situation, when some hopeful feelings came, and I found these words I would like to share:

    We Are Not Alone

    It was the trees that captured my attention
    Our planet’s oldest living things
    An intelligence not of the mind
    The tall pine trees sway in the gentle wind
    Which refreshes my body
    And cools my fevered head
    As my mind ponders the koan of my life.

    Why am I here when my loved one is gone?
    Why must my mind find the answer?
    Why cannot I be like the patient trees?
    And why is there such sorrow in the world?

    The world is out of balance
    We have made it so
    Time grows short
    We must change, but how?

    We are not alone
    There is a wisdom of a higher kind
    We are not in this by ourselves.

    And what is my role?
    Sometimes I have glimpsed the simplicity of happiness
    Can I share it?
    Can I lighten the hearts of others?
    And let them know
    That every deed of kindness is special
    Every act of love is a blessing
    And that in truth
    We are not alone.

    Love and light,


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