The guidance of yesterday is as unexpected as the previous one; the one which led me to realize that I was not to conduct retreats as I have been for many years. With that direction being clear, I have been searching for clarity about the next cycle. In that process, I found myself floundering a bit and even touched a worry place about my security. Thinking maybe I should move to a less expensive apartment and find other ways to reduce my expenses. My refugee years of homelessness surfaced and touched some old fear places for a while.
Then there was a time of thinking about how to generate some income. Providing personal retreats came up. I live in the ideal situation for that. I realized a couple days ago, that the question of financial issues had evolved into a wrong focus. The question which needed my attention was, what does Spirit have in mind for me. Meditating on that, the following guidance came to me.
My name, Hedwig, means refuge in battle. For years, when I was younger, I wanted to have a house which I would call “The Refuge”. Anyone in need, or simply wanting rest or company, would be welcome. Beauty, peace, harmony, joy would be expressed in everything from linen, dishes, food, meditation, music, books etc., etc. People would donate whatever they could afford or wanted to or simply accept all as a gift.
Then as the tears started flowing, I was saying to myself, ‘ I want to be a refuge’. I want to name my very lovely apartment The Refuge. I want to keep it going for as long as I’m physically and financially able. I want to provide a place that feels like a sanctuary, safe. Where anyone can come for an hour or four or a day or overnight. Where everyone feels welcome and loved.
And so, this is what I feel called to do right now. It feels so right in my heart and on all levels of my Being.
The theme for the retreat this year was ‘Tusting the Invisible World’. As it turns out, that was exactly right. I continue to trust and do what the Divine asks me to do.
This, along with full commitment to my beloved Quaker community is the immediate cycle before me. I’m so full of inner peace and joy. I look forward to seeing you at The Refuge anytime. A cup of tear or coffee or….is always waiting to be shared.
In Light and Love and Companionship on this Path, Hedi